The Secret

“Oh, what a tangled web we weave…when first we practice to deceive.” – Walter Scott

Will he ever shut up? I had to turn away to hide my bored look. When I asked about his game of golf, I really didn’t want a shot by shot run down of the whole 18 holes.

“…And on the 15th green I was so close to a birdie but the ball hit a divot and went off course”, continued Graham despite his wife’s glazed eyes and wandering mind.

It was our eighth wedding anniversary last month. We celebrated with a bottle of wine in front of the TV. Who said romance was dead? When people talk about the ‘seven year itch’, I definitely know what they mean. What I’d give to simply walk away from this marriage. But my family would never forgive me. The thought of being ostracised is enough to chain me to Graham until death us do part.

His name is Shaun, the scratch to my itch. The opposite of Graham, he’s a refreshing change. We met in a bar when I was on a work night out. He actually chatted me up! Just being approached like that – out of the blue – made me feel special. Wanted. Desired. I hadn’t felt like that in a long time.

*******

Graham rolled over and a warm hand snaked around my stomach. “Morning, sweetheart,” he nuzzled my neck and went in for a kiss.

“Morning breath!” I clamped my hand over my mouth and made my escape to the en-suite. As I shut the bathroom door, I heard Graham sigh and sit up in bed. By the time I’d finished in the shower, he was already dressed for work and heading downstairs.

“No shower this morning?” I queried, puzzled as Graham’s normally a twice a day man.

“Got to get into work early. The boss has called a breakfast meeting,” he rolled his eyes. After a quick peck on the cheek, Graham dashed out the door.

As I watched him drive away, the relief I felt was huge. I don’t know how much longer I can cope with the lies. I know I should end it with Shaun but just the thought of it turns my insides in knots. He’s my shining light in a grey world.

*******

After a sandwich in front of Loose Women (guilty pleasure!) I dashed upstairs to make the bed and freshen up. I was expecting Shaun any minute. Usually we meet in town and go back to his but this morning he had a meeting just down the road so he was coming to the house. The naughtiness of it all added an extra frisson. Once he arrived, we headed straight upstairs…

*******

“What was that?” I whispered in a slightly panicked tone.

“What?” mumbled Shaun “I didn’t hear any…”

“Shit! That! Did you hear that? He’s home.” I jumped out of bed in a frenzy, picking up the clothes strewn around the room and throwing items at Shaun.

“Get dressed! You have to leave. Now!” I hissed at a now grey-faced Shaun.

I wrapped myself in a dressing gown and slipped out through the bedroom door.

“What are you doing back so early?” I asked Graham as casually as possible as he hung his jacket up in the hall cupboard.

“Meeting was cancelled so thought I’d escape on time for once. I’m going to play FIFA for a bit before getting started on dinner.”

Graham looked up at me briefly and noticed my dressing gown, “Just got in from the gym?”

“Yup,” I replied a bit more high pitched than usual. “Just about to get in the shower.”

Graham nodded absentmindedly and headed into the lounge. As I padded back upstairs I heard the familiar sound of the PlayStation firing up.

Back in the bedroom, Shaun was fully dressed and pacing. “This is such a mess! What are we going to do?” he questioned hurriedly.

“Give it five minutes and he’ll be so engrossed in that stupid game of his that you’ll be able to go out the front door.” And right enough, the volume of the TV downstairs crept up and we could hear Graham shouting over the din, “Pass it!”

“Now.” I ushered Shaun down the stairs, out of the house and, not that I knew it yet, out of my life.

Over dinner that evening, Graham was quiet. Unusually so.

“Is everything ok?” I asked softly, sensing something was the matter and dreading his response. What if he suspected something?

Graham looked up from his dinner with worried eyes, “I’ve been fired.” He burst into tears.

“I’m so sorry.” I ran over to my husband, “Come here,” I wrapped my arms around his chest and rested my head on his shoulder.

“Everything’s going to be ok.”